TW (suicide/language)
I wanted to give a little back story before we get to Alice!
To be honest , in January 2023 I didn’t plan to see 2024.
I had nothing left in me - hopeless and suicidal. It was a scary time because I was just SO tired - and desperate for peace. Desperation is dangerous when you're that sick.
I'd been fighting my depression since I was a teen, I was worn down and tired of the same battle. Then doing the bare minimum to get back to "surviving" and back to life.
Thankfully, somewhere in that darkness I decided to stay - but not just stay.
Not this time...
If I was here I was recovering All. The. Way. and LIVING my life.
None of the half assed shit I’d done my whole life. No more band aid fixes, excuses or settling.
I was fucking RECOVERING this time - whatever that meant…
So I did.
I reinvented myself....not even kidding...not one part of my life was unaffected or unchanged.
I took a deep dive inside and started unpacking a lifetime of layers.
I healed, sat with my trauma, analyzed every single belief/relationship/memory/regret, shed the bullshit expectations/masks and layers. The years of hiding my true self was over - I'm being authentic or nothing! I didn't care what others thought anymore - this was my life damnit!
I kept the lessons and shed the baggage. I found inner peace and joy, learned to set boundaries, said goodbye, forgave. I started advocating for myself and my needs.
And chose to love myself all in - no conditions.
In order to reach this step, I needed to accept ALL of me - the good, the bad, and of course Alice...
Wait...who the hell is Alice?
Alice - also known as my anxiety/depression .
I was tired of feeling like my illness defined who I was, and needed to separate that part of me.
I needed to learn to live along side Alice, to work together and co-exist in a healthier way.
I realized that Alice will always be there, so love and acceptance was key for this to work.
Fighting it didn't work for the majority of my life, but once I accepted this as part of me... the shift happened.
I fully accepted that Alice was part of who I am, in the end of resisting and hating her I found peace within myself. I began to feel like I had more control over my mental health, learned tools to manage my illnesses
Not going to lie, I will say "F*ck off Alice - not today" when I really just don't want to deal with it.
It helps!
I love Alice in Wonderland, so it only seemed fitting that Anxious Alice become my brand. A company with a mission to help and support others on their journeys, spread awareness for mental health. My whole purpose!
So I guess what I’m saying is it’s fucking worth it guys!
If you’re where I was - here is your hope....TRUST ME
You can get better, you can enjoy life and recover. It does take work, but it will be the greatest gift you ever give yourself.
So if you’re thinking about choosing yourself this year - DO IT - that rebellious act of self love will be the greatest decision you ever make.
And if you don't know where to start....I'm here to help
XO Danielle
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